Let's Go Back From The Start

I believe people easily when they promise me something - then expectations rises.

1. Promises fail - disappointments occur. 
2. Disappointments occur - Trust fades. 
3. Trust fades -  I lose temper. 
4.  I lose temper - Another promise will be said.

I wanted some honesty and not just some urgent words of uncertainty that works like an anesthesia - It is the fastest, yet the worst antidote for the shortest period of time. When one didn't do his promise, I question my value.

I have been measuring my value since childhood - thinking if I am valuable as a daughter itself or just because I am the eldest. But I have already passed that. I know my value in my family now.

When I have been promoted as a leader, I was thinking that I am not even worthy to accept it.

1. I hold into people's words
2. I have short patience.
3. I don't have enough knowledge to help my teammates. It feels so terrible not to help your own team!
4. I have the tendency of pushing people whom I see and feel that isn't working at their best and I must emphasize it  - not limit but best. 
5. I have a tendency of repeating words especially if I don't see any result. 
6. The worst of all, I am horribly good on putting pressure to others.
7. Im best on putting pressure with myself as the responsibility becomes bigger

I always look things this way and it IS pathetic. I must say people need to learn these things:

• Self - value is one of the important things, if not the first that we need to learn first before anything else.
• Respect - we need it all. Who doesn't?
• Honesty - the hardest thing to do.

I am motivated, a little bit scared about new things - but I face it with enthusiasm. I complain about what I dislike. The more I complain about it - the more important it is to me. I can't force people anymore to do the things I wanted them to do, I am tired. Just because I think this way and works this way it already means that they also thinks and works the same.

So, I won't hold into promises too much. I will do something about my temper. I will gather resources to help my teammates. I'll start observing from now on and see what will happen. Say things just once and make it clear. Don't ask too much questions. Well regarding on how hard I handle myself - its the most difficult, but I will find ways and work on it.

Every time we meet new people in our lives, We realize sometimes how much we need to change. And we totally feel so bad about ourselves. But the good thing is, as long as the problem is IN ourselves - then the solution relies on to noone - but ourselves.