A Woman with Dignity, A Mother with Grace

She got legally married at the early age of 14. I can't imagine her courage and pain for being a mother at the age of 15. There are probably a lot of things she could have done if I wasn't born.

I have known her for 21 years, but I can't even tell what she really feels sometimes. People say I'm a split image of her, but it didn't make us understand each other better.

I hate how she nags at me. It usually echoes on my ear, it sounds like a loud rock song played repeatedly, makes my heart beats 3x faster and loses my temper. But I love how it makes me feel that in spite of all of my imperfections someone loves me, unconditionally.

I feel lucky for having such a mother like her. She will tell me how bad she felt when I have done something wrong to her. She never expects me to be the top of the class. She wants me to learn just enough. She never chooses who should be my friends. She lets me decides. She never questions my decision. She will just let me see the options. Most of all, I feel lucky that I can feel my house is a real home, because of her.

The number of wrinkles in her face is increasing every year will be the amount of gratitude that I owe to her. Her eyes are filled with loneliness of a woman who was once betrayed by her most trusted man. I wanted to fill those eyes with nothing but happiness and joy.

I wanted to be a woman with dignity and a mother with grace, just like how she was always been. And I wanted to be strong enough to protect her...

Yes, it's already been 21 years and I can't even return the effort or the love that she gives us. I used to give her flowers and cards, but she will just tell me to buy food instead.

So I wish, this time around, even if it is just few words that broke her heart in the past, it will be enough to make her feel how much we value her in my life and my sister's - Ma, I love you so much. Happy Mother's Day!!! *Hugs*